Enough
by stilted breath
Summary: They've never been enough for anyone. Jeremy's looking for a reason to keep living, and Tyler's looking for a quick fix, anything to numb away the pain. Somewhere in the midst of it all they might just be enough for one another. Tyler/Jeremy. Jyler.
1. Chapter 1

Enough  
Chapter One

-

(Set a few weeks after_ Under Control_)

The music is loud. Elena recognizes the song, it's by Jeremy's favorite band, who's name she's long-forgotten. It's metal, and it's on full-blast, something about 'spinning out of control' is being yelled by the lead singer. Elena's ear is pressed against Jeremy's door, trying to make out if he's alone or not, and that's when she hears the stifled moans. She's worried, it's only natural. He is her younger brother and he had just found out that the girl he'd convinced himself he was in love with was dead, and that would drive anyone to do ridiculous things. She has her own problems, but nothing will ever stop her from being there for her brother. "Jeremy?" she calls out his name, frozen next to his door.

She hears low voices, and then a gradual lowering of the music. "Elena?" he asks, and his voice sounds petrified.

"Can you open the door? I want to talk to you."

"Um...give me a minute."

She hears the volume return to it's former, higher, level. There is some obvious shuffling going on in the room, and the creaking of a closet door, and then hurried feet, before the door opens. Jeremy's obviously sweating, and his hair is matted against his forehead. His shirt is inside out but Elena doesn't ask him why. "Hey. You, uh, you needed something?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to talk."

"No. Not really. Is that all?" and he looks all too eager to close the door in her face.

"No. Can I come in?"

"Uh," he looks back at the closet, "Sure. Make it quick."

She takes a seat on his bed, noticing the messy sheets. "I know the past few weeks have been hard on you."

"Yeah, they haven't been amazing," he replies.

"I just want you to know that you can talk to me."

"I know."

Elena sighs, and glances at the floor. She rolls her eyes, and picks up the discarded condom wrapper, "Really, Jer, I'm trying not to notice all of this, but isn't this a bit obvious?"

He swears under his breath.

"If you have someone in here with you, you don't have to hide them from me."

"Right. Sorry. Can you leave now?"

"Who is it?"

"I'd rather not discuss it."

"Jerem-,"

"Elena. Please. Leave."

-

Tyler is horny, and he is stuck in Jeremy Gilbert's closet, while Jeremy discusses the proper use of a condom with much sarcasm in his voice.

"No, Elena, I don't need you to 'demonstrate anything' -,"

"I'm just saying, there are a lot of helpful videos online."

Tyler almost laughs out loud. It's rather comedic, and he would've found this situation a lot more amusing if it wasn't for his raging hard-on. Just moments before he had been buried inside Jeremy, and now he's contemplating becoming better friends with his left hand. Elena finally leaves, and Jeremy brings the volume back up to max, before locking the door, and opening the closet door.

"Fucking hate your sister right about now," he mutters, stepping out, shirtless.

"I'm not too fond of her at the moment, either," Jeremy replies, smirking.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No."

Tyler nods, "Looks like I'm going to have to undress you again."

"I don't mind," he whispers.

Tyler eases himself back onto Jeremy's bed, in the midst of messy sheets, and pulls Jeremy onto his lap, his fingers digging into those perfect, hips, he tilts his head up so that they are kissing. Jeremy holds onto him, as long as possible before breaking apart from him. He presses his lips against Tyler's collarbones, and drags them up to his neck. The taste of so much naked Tyler Lockwood flesh against his tongue is almost too much.

"_Beautiful._" Words are whispered, clothes discarded, moans subdued, and Tyler wonders if Jeremy's ever been in love.

-

Tyler leaves almost half and hour later, taking care not to fall down, as he scales the large tree by Jeremy's window. Jeremy watches him until he disappears around the corner, his hood pulled over his head. Jeremy takes a cold bath, and is tempted to see how long he can go without air, but decides against it. Still drying his hair off with a towel, he makes his way downstairs and into the kitchen, where Elena is sitting with Aunt Jenna. Jeremy wonders when she got home, but isn't bothered by it. He swings the refrigerator open and searches through the contents, finally pulling out a cup of yogurt, and fetching a spoon.

"Do you want to tell me something?" Aunt Jenna asks, expectantly, turning to him.

Jeremy rolls his eyes. It's funny, how Elena can hold out on telling him all those things she's written down in her diary but she can't keep his secret for more than five minutes. And how they just expect him to spill on demand. "Nope." He pops the p, removing the tin foil lid with his teeth.

"Jeremy."

"What? What do you want me to say? Did I have someone in my room? Yeah. Did we have sex? Yeah. We used a condom, and they're gone. I'm not twelve. I know what I"m doing. If you wanna chastise someone then give Elena the sex talk - not me."

He leaves with the yogurt, and the damp towel. Elena and Jenna are gaping at him. He slams his door closed, and locks it for good measure. Then, he collapses onto his bed, sobs wracking through his body. He wonders when he got so screwed up, and realizes he can't remember.

-

Tyler Lockwood is not gay. He's not bisexual either, according to him. He likes girls. Or as he likes to tell himself, he likes girls, apart from Jeremy.

Or maybe he is. He doesn't know, and he's partially sure that he's in denial. But he's not going to admit anything. He likes having sex with Jeremy, and he thinks Jeremy is gorgeous (especially when he blushes), but he'll never admit that either. _It's just an outlet,_ he says, _for pent up sexual desires. _

Jeremy goes along with it, because as much as he knows Tyler is full of shit, he doesn't want to tell him that he likes him. That he savors the rare kisses, and the taste of his skin, and their even rarer conversations. He knows it will just scare Tyler away. He asks Tyler_ why _once, and Tyler just replied by telling him that he wasn't 'a fag' and sex was just sex, regardless. Jeremy knew it was bullshit, but he was too infatuated with him to call him out on it.

-

"You're late," his father tells him, as he walks into the empty mansion.

"Sorry, dad. I was hanging out with Matt."

"Isn't Matt working today? I saw him at the Grill. Why are you lying to me?"

"I was with a girl, dad. Okay?"

"Why haven't I met her?"

"Because every time I get a girlfriend, you meet her, and you tell her she's trash. Then she dumps me."

"Well, stop dating trash," Mayor Lockwood suggests. "And get home on time from now on!" he calls after him.

"Yeah. Sure," Tyler replies. He's been out of sorts with his dad since the Founder's Day Event. His dad's hit him before, it's nothing new. He wasn't expecting it though. And he'd never been so _pissed_, not since he was fourteen and he called his aunt a 'fugly bitch'.

-

Tyler sees Jeremy alone, in the courtyard when he's skipping third period calculus. "Hey," he says, taking a seat next to him.

Jeremy glances at him, and Tyler notices how red his eyes are, the streaks of dried tears along his cheeks, and how tired he looks. "Did you get any sleep last night?" he asks him.

"No," his voice is stuffy, "Not really."

"What's up?"

"I miss my parents. I miss Vick."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Tyler asks, in a rare moment of actual concern.

"Kiss me?" he whispers the plea, his eyes boring holes into Tyler's face.

"Someone could see us."

Jeremy nods, numb, as he turns back to stare at the landscape of dying trees.

On impulse, Tyler kisses him, securing his face with both hands, one buried in his hair. Jeremy is taken aback, and cries into the kiss. He just wants someone to fix him. All he's ever wanted is for someone to take the time to put him back together.

-

A/N: I know this is a little different from my usual way of portraying Tyler/Jeremy, but I'm facing massive writer's block, and these scenes of them keep coming up in my head, and so I decided to start another Jyler fic, though I have every intention of finishing the last one as well. Please, please, review.


	2. Chapter 2

Enough  
Chapter Two

-

Alaric Saltzman isn't sure about much anymore. He's not sure if his beloved Isobel ever really loved him. He's not even sure that he loves her anymore. He's not sure why she'd want to _turn_, and he's not sure why she would've kept so much from him. His lunch break is early, and he decides to spend it doing the usual - pondering the meaning of life as he eats a peanut butter and raspberry jelly sandwich - when he becomes sure of one thing: there is more to Jeremy Gilbert than he thought. Weeks ago he'd been pulling Tyler off of Jeremy as he was about to punch him in the face, and now he's caught them in a rather intense lip-lock.

Tyler's the one to break away from him, whispering someone to Jeremy before pulling out a pack of cigarettes, and lighting one. Alaric is sure he should do something about it, but he decides against it, and heads back inside, deciding that just for today, he'll eat lunch in the teacher's lounge. They did have a nice supply of glazed doughnuts, and he didn't want Jeremy to feel like there was anything he had to hide from him.

-

It's cold, and Jeremy wishes that he'd thought to have taken his hoody out of his locker before slipping outside. He watches Tyler, enchanted, as he inhales, the cigarette still in his mouth. Jeremy would regularly lecture him, but decided against it.

"Want one?" Tyler asks, tipping the pack towards him.

Jeremy shakes his head.

Tyler shrugs, and crushes the cigarette under his foot, glancing back at Jeremy. He isn't sure what to say, but he doesn't want to look away.

-

Only his friends call him Ric, (that is, when he did have friends) Alaric realizes, six days later, after he's signed the eleventh grade's AP English Lit teacher's 'Happy Birthday' card, with 'Ric'. He squishes in the first three letters, 'Ala', and hands it back to the ninth grade biology teacher. "I don't really know her," he apologizes, promptly.

"It's fine. It's the thought that counts," she says, "Have a piece of cake, if you'd like."

"No, thank you," he says quickly. He leaves the teacher's lounge, and heads towards the office, to talk to the fifty-five year old, stocky, red-headed secretary who's name was similar to Marmalade (that was all Alaric could remember).

"Hello Ms. -," he breaks off.

"Marmalia," she says, flashing a grin in his direction. He's not quite sure, but he thinks she's flirting, and is very frightened by it. "How can I help you?"

"Is, uh, is Jeremy Gilbert in today?"

"Not skipping is he?" she asks, and she looks tired, "It's the sixth cut I'll have down for the week."

"Oh, no, I don't have him until last period, I was just wondering what lunch period he has."

"He has third lunch," she says, typing rapidly, and pushing her red-rimmed glasses back up her freckled nose. "But I can call him in now."

"Oh, that'll do," Alaric says, "Thanks."

She nods, and switches the intercom on, leaning towards the microphone, she says, "Jeremy Gilbert to the office," and he hears it echo through the halls.

Alaric talks to Ms. Marmalia for a good six minutes before Jeremy finally gets there. "Am I in trouble?" he asks, lazily, his eyes severely blood-shot.

"No, I'm - I needed to speak to you, actually," Alaric steps in quickly, "Follow me." He escorts Jeremy to his room, briskly, "Take a seat," he tells him, taking his own seat at his desk.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Saltzman?"

"No. Well, not really. Kind of. Mostly, I'm looking out for you."

He scoffs, but keeps his eyes on him, "Yeah?"

"Where were you, third period, Tuesday?" he asks, leaning back in his chair.

"Uh, Tuesday," he winces, his eyes rolling up to his head, as he tries to remember, "Um. Skipping, I think."

Alaric inclines his head, "Were you with Tyler Lockwood?"

"What?"

"Tyler Lockwood. He's about 5'9", dark hair, -,"

"I know who you're talking about."

"Why are you avoiding the question?"

"Yeah, I skipped with him. It was no big deal. Do you wanna report me? I don't mind."

"No. It's just that - I saw you two."

"You saw -," he closes his eyes and swears, "Shit. Shitshitshit. Don't - don't say anything to Tyler. Please."

"I wasn't planning on it. Who you spend your time with is your own business. I just - I saw the cigarettes. I want to make sure you're not doing anything your aunt would disaprove of."

"Right," Jeremy feels the numbness taking over him, "Right. Thanks." He gets up, walks back to class, and sits down. He feels the edging fear creep into him, and his mind goes blank.

-

It's Elena's birthday, and Jeremy honestly doesn't give a fuck. He buys her the latest _Katy Perry _CD, and hopes his sister's taste in music hasn't become obscure over night. He's still pissed at her for lying to him about so much, and he doesn't even bother typing 'Happy Birthday' on her facebook wall, never mind saying it out loud. Elena's celebrating at The Grill, and she's invited the usual crowd - Stefan, Bonnie, Matt, and Caroline. Jeremy's almost eighty percent sure that Tyler will show up, so he goes. Elena's thrilled that he's showing interest, and she tells him that he can 'invite whoever he wants', but he just rolls his eyes at this. He figures she's trying to bait him into telling him who was in his room, but he doesn't buy it.

Tyler is there, and Jeremy breathes a sigh of relief that he didn't come for nothing. Elena is wearing a tiara, and sitting in between Bonnie and Stefan, staring at the pile of gifts in front of her. Jeremy isn't really there, he's just sort of hanging out, sipping soda at the counter as Elena squeals and kisses Stefan to no end. Jeremy rolls his eyes, their particular brand of love makes him nauseous.

"I'll have a Pepsi, thanks," Tyler says to the girl behind the counter, handing her a five dollar bill.

"Tyler -," he really should tell him about Mr. Saltzman.

He's turns to him. "Yeah, Gilbert?"

"Nothing. Nevermind."

Tyler grabs the soda, and leaves, taking a seat next to Matt and Caroline.

-

Jeremy's getting really tired of his shit. Who the hell is he trying to fool, anyways? It's been two hours, and Tyler seems to have a frantic need to feel up every girl he talks to, and he's currently making out with some blond skank he'd met about twenty minutes ago. Jeremy grits his teeth when he walks by him, trying not to let it bother him.

"Jeremy!" Elena says pleasantly, when he takes the seat formerly occupied by Tyler. "Thanks for the CD. It means a lot."

"Yeah, whatever. I downloaded it."

"Thanks anyways," she says, smiling brightly, and leaning into Stefan's chest.

"So, uh, who's the girl with Tyler?" he asks, in an attempt of a nonchalant air.

"Leah - something," Matt says helpfully, "His dad's been riding him lately. He says he just wants to get wasted and laid."

"He really does need to find a decent girlfriend," Caroline says. "Too bad I'm taken."

Jeremy starts laughing, but manages to turn it into a hacking cough. "He's got terrible taste," he comments, before heading to the bathroom.

-

What the hell is happening to him? Jeremy wonders, looking at the mirror, and trying to recognize the person he sees in front of him. Tyler made it clear, quite clear, that all he ever was to him was a warm body to fuck, and now, he was acting like a lovesick thirteen year old girl. He shouldn't care about him. Jeremy could do better.

Or so he tries to tell himself. "God damn it!" he whispers the word, his voice harsh, as he buries his face in his hands momentarily. He washes his hands and heads to the door.

Tyler opens the door and almost hits him in the face with it. "Watch where you're -," Tyler stops, mid-sentence, "Oh. Sorry."

"Don't bother," Jeremy says, his voice hoarse, as he tries to walk past him.

Tyler stops him, gripping his arm, "Is anyone in here?"

"No. Now let me -,"

In one swift movement, he locks the door and stands in front of it, refusing to budge. "What's your problem, man?" he asks Jeremy, squinting, as if he's trying to see through him.

"I don't have a problem. Other than you."

"Jeremy -,"

"What? It was just a fuck, right? Don't feel obligated to even acknowledge me if it pains you so much."

"Look, it's not like that."

"Really? What's '_it like'_ then, Tyler?"

"I'm just - she didn't mean anything, Jeremy."

He looks away, ashamed that he's so easy to read. "I don't give a fuck."

"Really? That why you've been staring at me all night?"

"Don't flatter yourself."

"I'm sorry," Tyler says, his eyes meeting Jeremy's."I'm sorry."

"Fuck!" he says turning away from him. "What the hell are we doing?"

"Don't know. Don't _care."_ Tyler walks over to face him, and leaning closer to him, his breath smothered in spearmint, he kisses him, fingers entangling in hair.

Jeremy pushes him off and bites into his lower lip before saying, "Saltzman knows."

"Knows what?"

"About us. He saw us. Last week."

Tyler's expression quickly changes from confused to pissed off, "I told you someone was going to -,"

"I know, okay? I'm sorry Tyler. He's not gonna say anything."

"And you know this how? Because he said he wasn't? Just screw it, Gilbert. Forget it."

"Tyler -,"

Tyler unlocks the door and leaves, slamming it as hard as he can. Leah's still waiting, and he'll be damned if he doesn't get any tonight. He's tired of worrying.

-

**I'm still trying to plot out the storyline, but I've got a rough idea. Thank you guys for all the support, I really appreciate it. I'll be sure to update this, and my other two stories as soon as possible. Please review if you enjoyed this at all.  
**

**:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Enough**  
Chapter Three

Jeremy was done. There was only so much he could stand. Watching Tyler walk away from him angry, again, wasn't something he enjoyed. So, he decided, he would get over him. It wouldn't be hard. It wouldn't be hard. It wouldn't be hard. (If he said it long enough, it would be true). Anna was a sweetheart, and she would never hurt him, or make out with someone else in front of him, or walk out on him for something he couldn't control. Anna was it. This theory was further backed up, when, several days later, Anna told him she would be staying in Mystic Falls. Attending high school, and the works. When Jeremy asked her why she told him to 'guess', and he of course understood, right away. It was a sweet gesture, and it was something he could get used to. Anna was pretty, and quirky, and she wasn't afraid to let people see that she cared about him. So he slept with her, in the bed he had once had Vicki in, and Tyler. Again, and again, and again. While he kissed her, and ran his fingers along her bare, pale, flesh, he tried to ignore the images of Tyler kissing him in bathrooms, and behind buildings. He tried to lose the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him that he didn't want this at all.

He sees Tyler the next day, and he tries not to notice how terrible he looks. He's wearing the same clothes he's been wearing for the last week or so, and his eyes are so blood-shot that they're almost complete submerged in that pinkish-red, like he's been crying for years.

Jeremy can't help himself, "Tyler, man. What -,"

"Save it," he says, and Jeremy can hear the suppressed, choked, sobs at the back of his throat. He hitches his back-pack up, and walks away from him, making a beeline for the boy's bathroom.

* * *

Tons of drugs, and his dad telling him how useless he was every two minutes, and the lingering threat of someone finding out about Jeremy, and the way he's losing his memory, and crying everyday. That's what's breaking him apart. He's trying to remember a time where he was careless, happy, but the bleak truth is that he doesn't even remember what happiness is. It's all just a blur of overwhelming colors, and bright red beneath his eyelids. He looks around, making sure no one's around, and pops unmarked white pills into his mouth. Slipping into one of the bathroom stalls, he tries to fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Jeremy feels awful. Anna's not even there to comfort him, or notice that he is upset. Though, this becomes far more visible when the silent tears begin. He writes a pass, and his English teacher signs it, staring at him with concerned eyes. He runs to the second floor bathroom, locking it quickly, he notices Tyler's sneakers, and knocks on the stall door. "Tyler. It's - it's Jeremy. Open up."

"Fuck off," the words are harsh, and Tyler's voice is scratchy, like sand paper.

"Please?"

"Whatever you need to say, you can say from there."

"I...I'm sorry, Tyler. I don't know what - I don't know anything anymore. I don't know who I am. I can't - I slept with Anna. And it was...not terrible. And I like her. But I like you - I like you more. I can't get you out of my head. And I thought I could, but you're still there, and you're still...," he trails off, "I just need you to open the door. Please."

He hears the click, and then the door swings open, Tyler steps out, and looks at him, "Yeah?"

"What happened to you?"

"I don't - remember. It doesn't matter."

"You don't remember? What the hell did you take?"

"Don't remember that either."

"You look like shit."

"Thanks."

"No. Not like -," Jeremy sighs. "What can I do?"

"Nothing. Just go back to your girlfriend and have your not-terrible sex."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Really?"

"Well, she thinks she is."

"I don't suppose you plan on setting her straight."

"It's not like if I did, you would want me."

"How the hell would you know?"

"Because you would never admit it! You'd never do anything that wounds your stupid reputation, or whatever the fuck -,"

"Well I do. I like you, okay? I like you. And yeah, how lovely would it be if we could walk around holding hands and making out in the courtyard? But we can't. I can't ever -," he breaks off, shaking his head, "My dad would kill me."

"Tyler, I'm sure he would -,"

"You don't know him."

"Tyler -,"

"Just forget it," he says, making his way towards the door.

"No. No more! Just don't do that. Don't walk out on me."

"Right. I'll just do what you do. Have sex with some girl and then tell you all about it."

"It's not like that."

"The hell it isn't."

"At least I don't do it in front of you!"

"Oh, so what, this is you paying me back, is that it?"

"No."

"Then tell me what this is! What the_ fuck_ are we doing?"

"I don't know."

"Now can I walk away?" Tyler asks, glaring at Jeremy, his blood-shot eyes looking like they're just about ready to burst.

"All I thought about was you."

"What are you going on about?"

"When I was with Anna. You're all I think about."

Tyler is quivering. "I really fucking hate you," he says, pointedly, before reaching up, annoyed by the fact that Jeremy is taller than him, and kissing him. Everything else fades to black.

* * *

Tyler fucks him against the bathroom wall, because even though Jeremy has a good four inches on him, Tyler will always be the more dominant one. Every once in awhile, Jeremy will bite down on his own hand to keep from crying out, and even the slightest noise makes every bone in his body go still. Trying not to care too much about the cold tile against his back, Jeremy feels the sweat drip down both of their bodies, pooling together. When they are finally done, Jeremy is exhausted, and pays little attention to anything else as he wipes himself off with the rough, brown, paper towels the school supplies. He is sore everywhere, but Tyler looks less like he's about to pass out, so Jeremy doesn't mind it, or the feeling of betrayal he gets when he thinks about Anna. Tyler is always worth it.

* * *

"Boston," Tyler answers, later, much later, as he sits adjacent to Jeremy while they do their homework in the Gilbert's living room, the TV blaring on some college basketball game.

"Why Boston?" Jeremy asks, scribbling down some nonsensical answer about 'racism' to the questions he's answering about _Black Boy._

"It's far away from here. And it's nice. It's like New York, but less crowded, and more liberal. Why, where do you wanna live?" Tyler asks, glancing at him.

"New York," he admits, "I'm a sucker for the crowded thing. The whole chaos bit. So you can never feel alone."

"You can always feel alone," Tyler says and goes back to his history homework. Jeremy watches him, and wonders if Tyler is aware of just how beautiful he is.

Tyler stays over. Jeremy locks his door, shuts the lights off, and opens the window, allowing the cool air to smother them, as Jeremy presses against Tyler's partially nude body under thin blankets.

Tyler's gone, come morning.

* * *

**Short, I know, but I'm trying to strive off writer's block. Ugh, it's terrible. Fourth term's almost over and then fifth, and then I'm officially done with my first year of high school. I'm just so thrilled is all. Ugh, the Anna/Jeremy in the last episode. I ended up only watching like half the episode, because I honestly can't stand them together.**

**Oh, and apparently fanfiction hates dashes because it won't show any of them in any of my stories which is like FHAOIFHAKDGHKSJG, ugh. So I'll fix all of that next weekend.  
**

**Review please, loves! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Enough  
Chapter Four

* * *

He's not a five year old with a skinned knee. He doesn't need a band-aid or neo-fucking-sporin. But that's all he gets, in a sense. Pills. Pills. Pills. Prescribed, by doctors and drug dealers on street corners. Take this every two hours, take this at noon, don't take more than four of these in a six hour window, _blah, blah, blah. _Drug yourself up, and you'll be so numb you won't want to kill yourself anymore, because mostly likely - you won't have the strength to do much of anything anymore. He wants to die, plain and simple. Everything hurts _all of the time. _He can't remember where, or who he is half the time. He wakes up with throbbing headaches and stabbing pains in his abdomen, and he _cries_ all the fucking time. But he's afraid that it might hurt more than it will help. That all he'll feel is continuous vertigo accompanied by the feeling of falling down a seemingly endless hole that ends in a stranger world. He's no Alice in Wonderland, he wouldn't get back up. He doesn't have the will power. Tyler Lockwood is not the person he is perceived to be. He is just like the rest of them: scared, lost, depressed.

His skin is almost_ blue_, it's so white, Tyler realizes, as he stares at Jeremy who crosses the lunchroom to walk towards Anna, who is sitting alone. Jeremy with his dark hair, and lanky limbs, and those brown eyes that were reminiscent of the doe-eyed puppy he'd had as a child. Jeremy, who less than ten hours ago was sleeping, with his pale body contorted around his own. Fucking sitting there, with that stupid girl, acting as if everything was okay and normal, when it wasn't. And then she starts bawling. In the middle of the cafeteria. Honestly. Tyler's not the only one who notices, but he's the only one who stares. Jeremy wraps his arms around her, and kisses her cheek, and Tyler stares, still, as his lips drag against her skin, latching onto her mouth.

Everything goes red again, trying to keep his anger in check, Tyler leaves. He doesn't need this.

* * *

"Her mom died," Jeremy says, when he sees him at his locker after school. He's hoping it will make things better.

"Sucks," Tyler says, his words cold, distant. He realizes it's not the most sensitive thing in the world to say, considering Jeremy had lost his parents not long away, but he doesn't really care at the moment.

"Tyler, come on -,"

"No. You're - you're a fucking hypocrite, you know that, right? Her mom died, so you have to make out with her? In front of me? After -,"

"- you slipped away in the middle of the night because you didn't have the balls to wake up next to me? To admit that it meant something to -"

"My dad called. He gets violent when I don't do what he tells me to," he says, interrupting Jeremy, flipping open his cell phone to received calls and shoving it in his face, where the last one read, _Dad_, _3:02._ "You obviously don't trust me, so, just fuck it. If you need to look so hard for a reason to dump me, then look no further. Have fun with Anna."

Jeremy stares at him for a moment, registering the bluish tinge around his eyes, he says, "Did he hit you?"

"_Why? _You don't care."

"Of course I -,"

"Doesn't matter anyways, does it? What are you going to do about? You don't even have the guts to break up with your stupid little girlfriend, but you're going to take on the mayor?" he asks, slamming his locker closed, the sound resonates around them, and Tyler gives him another quick disparaging glance before leaving.

* * *

Jeremy's is frickin' radiating guilt as he listens to Anna talk. About this and that, and when he finally tunes in again, she's talking about leaving. "-have anything left for me here. Except you."

Jeremy smiles at her, as she continues talking, "I might as well stay right? But I don't know what to - I don't even know where to start."

Jeremy stares at her for a moment. "Don't do that," he says.

"What?"

"Don't make your decisions based on me. I'm a teenager. I - I change like the seasons."

It's Anna's turn to stare. "What are you saying?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me. You wouldn't - you wouldn't feel the same way if you knew."

"There's nothing you can tell me that'll change how I feel about you right now."

"There is."

"Try me."

Jeremy stops short, they are in the middle of the forest, surrounded by dying trees and broken branches on the ground. "When we - the other night...the day after that? I - I had sex with someone else."

"What?" the word comes out breathless, there is a shiver in her voice. "Who?"

Jeremy stares at her for a long moment. "It doesn't matter."

"Jeremy. Who?"

He blinks, twice, hoping that he'll wake up and it will be a surreal dream. "Tyler."

A sharp intake of breath, "You're -,"

"I don't fall for gender, Anna. Just people."

"And you -,"

"I like him. And I like you."

"And if you had to chose?"

"He doesn't want me. I don't get a choice."

She nods, and scoffs lightly, "So you'd chose him."

"Anna, it's not -,"

"No! Fuck you! You _fucking _pig. My mom was right. I can't trust you. I can't trust anyone."

"Anna!"

It's too late. He is alone now.

* * *

He never thought breathing could become so hard. It's early, still around six, but he's trying to fall asleep. The lights are off, but his lamp casts a dim glow over the room. His mind is tangled so fucking badly that he doesn't even want to try approaching it sanely. His eyes burn and twitch under heavy eyelids and he feels as if he has permanent jet-lag. This kid is seriously fucking with him head now, and he just wants to stop feeling like crap. His homework is on the table, located on the other side of the room, and he would do it, only he doesn't really give a fuck about anything. He'd popped a few pain pills, but they don't really do much for him. He feels like he's taken so many of them for so long that he'd become immune to them, or some shit. Though he doesn't really know if that's possible.

He gets a text, and his phone plays the chorus of some _My Chemical Romance _song he's forgotten the name of. It's from Jeremy. _I'm sorry._

Tyler scoffs and flips it closed. He's certain that he is, but he's suffering, so he'll be damned if he helps Jeremy get the weight off his shoulders. He takes out the easel his least favorite uncle had gotten him for his fifteenth birthday, and paints, filling the white canvas board with harsh strokes of his worn-out paint brush. His mouth is slightly open and his tongue is off to the side, like it always is when he's concentrated. He stops when he realizes that he's drawing the back of Jeremy's head, the surreal image of it, lingering in his head. The layers of hair and the way he's always trying to get it to stay down. Tyler swears and covers the half-finished painting with a layer of blue, before shoving the easel back into his closet. He stands there, in the middle of his room, for one long moment, and then leaves. He sits in the kitchen and eats cereal, dry, with a glass of orange juice. He wonders where his parents might be, but he doesn't think about it for too long. They always have functions and meetings and getting drunk to keep them busy.

The door bell rings, disturbing his thought process, and he goes to answer the door, still feeling out of it.

Jeremy. "Can I come in?" he asks.

"What do you want from me, kid? Huh?" Tyler replies, not answering his question. He realizes he's still clutching the box of _Kix _in his left hand, and his fingers fumble with the flaps.

"I just -," Jeremy shrugs, "I want to talk to you."

"Talk to Anna," he advises, just about ready to slam the door in Jeremy's face. His face is flushed, and Tyler suspects that he'd run there, from wherever he'd previously been.

"She dumped me."

"That why you're here? I'm your second choice, huh?" he asks, his lips curling into that oh-so-familiar expression that tells him that Tyler can _see everything _in him.

"No. She dumped me because you were my first."

"You told her?" Tyler's taken aback, but not upset.

"She's leaving town."

"So go with her," Tyler says, determined to make Jeremy think that he couldn't care less.

Jeremy's eyebrows furrow on their own accord, "What?"

"You thought just coming here was going to fix things? That what - and _I'm sorry _and a blowjob's gonna convince of anything? Well you've got another thing coming. Get lost."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm sick of trusting people. They just fuck with you and leave you to burn. I'm sick of trusting _you_. Goodbye, Jeremy. Have a nice life."

And the look in Jeremy's eyes is almost too much for him to bear, but he manages to close the door, avoiding the dramatic slamming, and sliding it closed. The clicking sound echoes in his head.

Tyler refuses to allow himself to care about Jeremy anymore. If only wanting something was enough to make it happen.

* * *

**Ugh, the finale was so good, I can't even wait til September aiohdshflkshf. Tyler's eyes were so _inspiring. _I'll get to him going wolf!Ty in a few chapters.  
Review please :)**


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